So Serious It's Laughable

It was hard to keep a straight face around here today. This afternoon I heard the wind chimes jangling rather vigorously outside. There was a nice breeze, but definitely not anything particularly lively. This meant one thing. Son1 was up on a chair again, dangerously wobbling, clanging those wind chimes. I wasn't up for a trip to the hospital for stitches. I raced down the stairs and found Son1 jangling the wind chimes from atop a chair. He has been told not to do this before. He heard me open the screen door, snapped his hands down to his sides, flashed the widest grin and said, "Oh , HI!!!" I asked him what he was doing. "I'm ringing the bell!" I explained that he wasn't ringing a bell. "Yes I am ringing a bell. See?" And he turned to jangle the wind chimes again. My camera happened to be within reach.I told him he could fall and had to get down from the chair. Then I explained that this was not a bell, and that you don't jangle wind chimes, let alone wobbling from a chair. I had never explained exactly that these were wind chimes before. "Wind chimes," he whispered carefully, like he was concentrating, and then again as a matter of fact, "wind chimes." I explained about the wind, and how it makes the wind chimes jangle. I pointed out that we had a nice breeze, but that the wind was not blowing so hard to make the chimes ring very loudly, only softly. He looked at me intently, and said, "No, it's [the wind] broken." I busted up laughing, and he looked at me sheepishly. What was so funny?

Later in the evening, Hubby and Son1 played a little Wii together until bed time. After Son1 was tucked into bed, Hubby and I had ourselves a little Wii date. We love playing Brain Academy speed matches against one another. All of a sudden we heard the pitter pattering of three year old feet from upstairs, definitely out of bed. We just didn't stop playing. We were in a little competitive groove. Some minutes later, I sent Hubby up to regulate. Just as he turned to make his way up the stairs, we were surprised to find Son1 standing at the bottom of the stairs! We just looked at him before either one of us spoke. "HI!!!! I got dressed!" Sure enough, he had taken his PJs off, pulled on a new shirt, shorts, and even had new underwear on. No, he hadn't had a potty accident. He was ready to go somewhere. I asked him where he was going. He looked at me like it was obvious. "I'm coming downstairs. I want to play." Hubby recalled that he had turned off the only overhead light in his room, attached to the ceiling fan cord. So, Son1 had gotten dressed in the dark, with all of his clothing going in the right direction. We were so impressed that we weren't even upset. He wasn't kidding. In his mind, he got his clothes on just so he could join us to play Wii. We complimented him on his blind dressing skills, and Hubby marched him right back up the stairs for bed time.

Well, so much for discipline today. Son1 was so serious and earnest all at the same time, that we didn't really have too much to say besides, "Get down from that chair," and then a little later, "it's time for you to get back in your bed."

Toilet Trouble!

Yesterday Son1 stalled for a nap. My patience was dwindling while supervising his last potty attempt, and he could sense it. "Mommy, you go OUTSIDE!! You go on the computer and I do potty all myself!!" I told him he had five minutes. Now, he is unsupervised in the potty all of the time. He is totally capable of getting his business done, redressed, and washing his hands. On those days when he stalls, though, I hang out just to make sure no funny business happens. Lately, he has enjoyed the whole idea of privacy, so I figured that maybe, just maybe, this was a little case of privacy and not playing in the bathroom. I left the door open to his bathroom. We have this little built in office alcove under an arch just outside of his bathroom. I really was only just a few feet away.

The toilet flushed. WOW he really did get it all done in five minutes. Then I heard the water. It sounded like he opened the faucet all the way. SHRIEK. "MOOOOMMMMMMMYYYY!!!!!!" SHRIEK SHRIEK. Oh no. Had he burned himself???? I jumped up and found an overflowing toilet just cascading all over the bathroom at bullet speed. I grabbed some bathtub pitchers and scooped and scooped and scooped water from the bowl and tossed and tossed and tossed into the bathtub. I glanced at him as he started to cry, but my eye caught the brown cardboard tube. "Did you shove toilet paper down the toilet?" "Yes." Ugh. Shreds of toilet paper were floating to the surface. Scoop, dump, scoop, dump. All the while water is still cascading....cascading like a water fall. The rugs were completely soaked. I looked at him, said his full name, and told him to wait for me in his room on his bed. "Mommy!!" I repeated myself again in as calm of a voice as I pictured Hubby using, because hardly anything shakes that man. I am trying to take lessons from him. Son1 defeatedly turned and slipped on the wet granite, and wailed. "Mommy!" Scoop, dump, scoop, dump. Aaaaggghh!!!

Calmly, sternly, I repeated myself again. He disappeared in the direction of his room. I looked down and the water stopped churning upward. It settled. It was at a reasonable level. Maybe it was over. I grabbed the two rugs Flylady had me wash earlier. Well, I was an over achiever. I washed these rugs in addition to the others she asked me to wash. I had swept and mopped this very floor earlier. I threw those rugs in the bathtub and looked at myself in the mirror. I was totally soaked. Totally.

I walked into Son1's room, and got him settled for a nap. "Mommy, you're happy?" I shook my head. "No, mommy is very, very sad." And wet. I recounted the event from beginning to end. "No, mommy YOU'RE HAPPY!!" I warned he had better take a nap and not get up.

I left his room, and scooped all of the wet towels and wet rugs and made a couple of trips down to the laundry, and tried to reorder the bathroom a little. But the afternoon just flew by with Son2 waking up from his nap, and Son1 asking to come out, though he never napped. Hubby called. I told him a little of what had gone on. Oh. He wanted to know if he could play some tennis after work. I reminded him I had a meeting to attend that evening. He offered to cancel, but a little guilt crept over me. Go, I told him.

By the time he got home, we were like two passing ships. I was putting Son2 down for bed. Son1 was fed, and was ready for bedtime. Before he went upstairs he asked if I had plunged the toilet. Well there was this little miscommunication. He thought I had said yes. He was listening for a one word response. But I told him that the water level had stabilized and that the toilet had stopped spewing. He took that to mean yes. So you can only imagine what happened after the toilet flushed. Yup. It happened all over again, and I needed to leave. Fortunately neither time involved #2. Hubby just looked at me and said, "Were you on the internet when he flooded the toilet?" And you know what I said?

"Now, you don't think I would have let him just do that with me standing there, do you??" There you go. One more time he was looking for a one word response, and he got a string of words. But Hubby is a lot faster at these messes. He had that bathroom reordered in a matter of minutes. That didn't make it any better, though.

People say that raising kids just goes so quick! And it does. It really does. But when you are in the moment, it sure can feel like forever.

Yesterday's Giggles

Hubby and I shared our days with each other last night. Some of the stories made us giggle:

1. I turned on the radio on the way to preschool. The Dave and Dawn show was on the FISH. Every Wednesday morning they have a What's Four Dinner? segment. They share a dinner recipe consisting of four ingredients. This week's recipe was a shrimp tomato rice salad. Obviously, those made up the three ingredients, followed by Italian salad dressing. Oh it was so funny, but you may not get how funny it was if you don't live here! They were stunned that mainlanders would call tossed rice, salad, and shrimp a salad. No lettuce??!?! No, we call that shrimp chop suey here! I died laughing in the car.

2. My funny look tipped off the preschool teachers when we walked in the door. "We can't really read that look," they said. "What is it?" I explained how every morning I throw Son1 in a jacket for him to wear from the car to the door of the classroom in 70 degree weather. Now, he doesn't need a jacket. It's warm. It's not like it's 69 degrees. But every other kid is donning a jacket. I suppose it is winter. Son1 dislikes jackets. He's a smart kid. IT'S WARM. I insist he wears one from the car to the classroom because everyone else is wearing one. Yeah, some life lesson I am teaching him. Do as everyone else does, just so I can look like a good mom.

3. Hubby's work is having a Biggest Loser contest. They left a hospital scale in the main hallway for people to self weigh, and then to record their weights. This contest fits in with his New Year's Resolution. He is entering! He steps on the scale. Oh....wait a minute. It read he weighed 20 lbs more than expected. He tried again. Now wait a minute. This scale must be off. So he stepped off, moved the scale weights down to zero. Hmm. The balance marker read zero. A marine sensed his confusion, and offered to try. He usually weighs 181, but suggested he might weigh 185 in uniform. So he stepped on the scale. He weighed 189. He told Hubby it must be 4 lbs off. But Hubby didn't buy that! How could it only be 4 lbs off for the marine and how could he weigh 20lbs over his own weight? Finally, a colleague admitted to Hubby that he stood behind Hubby with his foot on the scale, accounting for the extra 20lbs. The joke was on Hubby. They all had a good laugh. Later, he saw a colleague self-weighing. The person slid the weights into position, volunteering they must weigh about 175. Oh no! The scale read 195. Oh this person became so flustered! The person was about to try again, but Hubby confessed himself. This person was so relieved! He had this person going they really weighed 20lbs more than expected!