Not Hansel!

I am not the witch, and he is not Hansel!

I was less than five feet away, shining the dishwasher, when he jumped in. I turned, surprised, and let out a stream of giggles.

Bananas in May

This past weekend we chopped down another apple banana tree. Son1 swiftly helped Hubby pick up the leaves. He has been hankering for the tree chopping! Remember from my last post on banana trees that you chop down the tree when just one banana turns yellow on the bunch. We yielded about sixty bananas. We shared some with our neighbors on either side. Sharing fruit with your neighbors is generally expected. Of course, we don't mind sharing bananas and papayas because I make out with fresh fish from one neighbor, and lemons and other fruits from the other.

Even to an Outsider

During worship time on Sunday Son2 leaned into his brother, looked to him, and was soothed. Our church has a greeting time after the opening worship. The worship team leader greeted our family. His immediate comment was that he noticed how my youngest prefers his brother to his parents. Sometimes that is the truth! We all see how much he admires his big brother. When we eat our meals, they sit side by side. I hope this closeness is for always.

Bringing Down the Neighborhood

We received a letter, sent certified mail, signed by an attorney, that we were in violation of the regulations set forth by our homeowner association. Technically, it was true. Our purple ground cover exceeded four inches. Anything that is not a tree cannot exceed four inches in height at the curb. Practically everyone we know receives one of these letters every few months. We all are like-minded; this Code of Perfection is a waste of our homeowner money. My neighbor received a similar certified letter with a picture dated 2006 for a violation that had been removed two years ago. She was mad. The cost of attorney fees and certified mail was a complete waste. The far more irritating point is that they do nothing about folks who keep boats in their driveways or on the street, or work trucks parked on the street. That is a much larger violation, literally. The homeowner association is so inconsistent! We are all for living in a nice neighborhood, and a reasonable homeowner association code, but that is not the way it works in our association.

Our home had to meet the Code of Perfection before the previous owners could sell it. The same ground cover was there, healthier, and more abundant, and passed the sacred Code. Then, last year, my neighbor's plants violated the sacred Code and crept over to our purple ground cover. We were told by the Inspectors of Perfection that if removed the neighbor's plants we could keep the purple ground cover. Well, now we were boring. We did what they told us to to. Our purple ground cover was four inches in most places along the street. SEE? But parts of the ground cover were a little thick. The camera is deceptive. The highest part of the ground cover was six inches. (The green shoot is a remnant of my neighbor's heliconia plant with an evil root system.)

The language in the letter was pretty intimidating. We either trimmed it, or they would fix it, at our cost. Needless to say, Hubby called Inspector Central and explained the same ground cover has been present since we moved in, and since we were last told we could keep it. Inspector said it needed to be cut anyway. Hubby hung up, armed himself with his weed whacker, and attempted to cut back our ground cover. But you can't really trim ground cover. First, we ended up with brown sticks. It looked junky. So he figured this was better. That lasted all of one day. Next we spent $230 for this little strip. Sod is SO expensive in Hawaii. Most people use grass plugs, or patches of grass that eventually grow together, or hydroseed (grass on steroids) which takes several months. But this was quick, fast, and a solution.
Now that it is done and over with, guess what? WE LOVE THE NEW GRASS!

Vog on Oahu

Until we lived in Hawaii I had never heard of vog. For awhile I thought people were mispronouncing the word fog. Oh nooo, it is a very real and very hazardous condition. Vog is blended from the words "volcanic" and "smog". Sadly, the Farmers are all getting sick from vog.
Vog is created when sulfur dioxide mixes with other pollutants from an erupting volcano, in the presence of oxygen and moisture in the sunlgiht. Right now, Kilauea volcano has been erupting, and emits about two thousand tons of vog daily. Kilauea is located on the Big Island, some 240 miles away. Just today, the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park did not open until 1pm because of the dangerous vog. Sometimes vog affects our island because southern Kona winds blow and carry vog to our island. When we look outside we can see a thick brown haze in the distance. The other day I walked Son1 to school. I felt I swallowed a dust cloud! Son2 has had recurrent sinus infections since late November . My pediatrician says these are the worst cases of childhood respiratory concerns she has seen in twenty years. Faithfully, I have chased my children around with prescription medication that will reduce breathing accutenes associated with vog. My eyes are watery tonight and Hubby is using an inhaler as a precautionary measure. Son1 is in a fit of coughs and sadly, Son2 is congested again. We are praying for rain!!!!

The weather folks recommend we stay inside and drink plenty of fluids. Until then Hubby and I are dispensing medicine and praying for more rain.

Shiny Black Eyes Tell Mommy the Way it Is

Night before last I was shaken from my sleep by screams from Son1. I stumbled down the hallway and found him bawling in his doorway. I will spare you the details, but he had an intense case of stomach flu. After his bath, after the clean up in his room and his bathroom, after starting the laundry, and after my hero husband came to our rescue, we put him back to bed with one more story and prayers. He seemed uneasy about us leaving him. In the dim light I waved Hubby off to bed, and assured Son1 I would sit on the edge of his bed a few more minutes.
In the dark, a little hand reached for my mine and squeezed hard. My stomach fluttered, knowing that he felt comforted I was there. I sighed. Even though he is into being the big boy and being the big brother he still needs his mommy. Soon his hand relaxed. I tried to make his face out in the dark to see if he had drifted off to sleep. I smiled to myself when all I could see were his shiny black eyes, like black glass marbles. His eyes are particularly black and bright. When he was a newborn I remember rocking and rocking him in the dark, opening and shutting my own eyes, willing those teeny bright black eyes to close and go to sleep. And that night, sitting on his bed, they were wide awake.
I sat a little straighter, and whispered that I loved him SO much. He sprang up, threw his arms around me and told me he loved me SO much. Then he went on to say, "Mommy, you need to go to your bed! It's ok. Go to sleep!" Wow. I didn't know whether to giggle or be offended. I slid off the bed, shook my head, and found my way to back to bed.

Six Blog Posts Locked But Not Loaded

Aloha....what has happened to The Farmer Files? Where are they hiding? Well, a few things have happened here, Somewhere Over the Rainbow in Hawaii. A couple of weeks ago, the kids' great grandmother arrived. She didn't understand the whole concept of daily blog posting. Now Hubby gets it. I don't post, I don't write, and I do get very grouchy. But Little Ms. Grouchy hid well under the facade of the good in law, and I posted sporadically. Until my computer gave me a hard time, and overheated to over 200 degrees. So I was left to share a laptop with Hubby. The problem with that was that Hubby uses the computer for his side consulting, grad school work, and our never ending ebay and craigslist sales. When the kids were asleep, and I could possibly use the computer, he was generally on it, and he needed to be on it. That knocked me completely out of blogging. We just got my desktop back this weekend. I have six blog posts almost done, but not posted. In the meantime, we said aloha to GG and Grandma T (I haven't even posted about Grandma T.'s arrival) on Monday night. Son1 is back to school this week from Spring Break, we are catching up on doctor appointments, laundry, groceries, and cleaning, and we will be back sometime this week. I hope. I mean I promise.

Hot Malasadas

The other night Hubby brought home a special treat for our family, Hot Malasadas! They are known to be quite ono in Hawaii!A Hot Malasada is a Portuguese pastry. A lot of our Hawaiian food has Portuguese influence. These pastries are a fried dough on the outside, until golden brown. Still, they are moist and fluffy on the inside. Usually they are rolled in cinnamon and sugar or just sugar. Hubby brought some Hot Malasadas filled with coconut and chocolate. GG thinks they taste heavenly!!

Stay in Bed!

Last night, I told Son1 that if he got up after I put him to bed, he was going to be spanked. Several minutes later I heard things falling around our desk upstairs. I found Son1 out of bed when I rounded the top of the stairs. He looked guilty, held out a poised hand, and said, "Hand!" No. I told him to get on his bed, and turn over on his tummy, because he was getting a spanking. He dawdled longer than my patience could stand, and I gave him one last chance. Finally he turned on his tummy. Just as I was about to administer his consequence, he shouted out, "READY, SET, GO!!!" Ay yay, yay...what does he think sometimes?

This Week's Ono

Here is a little about this week's ono at our house. Ono is the Hawaiian word for delicious.

Since we have instituted the new Farmer grocery habit, I wanted to make our shopping interesting. Each week I buy something new to our family.These are pluots. They are a hybrid of 3/4 plum and 1/4 apricot. Pluots are very sweet because of their high sugar content and their intense flavor. They are also very, very juicy. Pluots are also rich in Vitamin A.
This is misoyaki butterfish. It is quite popular here in Hawaii. It combines the Japanese flavors of miso and sake with a taste that is uniquely Hawaiian. It is really popular at Roy's, but costs you probably three or four times what I paid for it at Costco. The butterfish is actually a sablefish, but because the skin of the fish is oily, it melts in your mouth like butter.
We also went to our favorite pancake paradise that is right down the street from my house. This is Son1's favorite breakfast, eggs over hard, and jasmine fried rice which is onolicious. Rice is a staple that can be eaten with every meal here. This fried rice is sweet and is made with bacon. They make the best fried rice ever!
Ooooh we had never had this before. Every day the restaurant makes a special biscuit of the day for $1.99. This day was peaches and cream biscuit day. It was so huge. It took up the entire dessert plate. Mmmm it was butter topped, sweet, fluffy, with whole peach pieces and layers of whipped cream in between. We have gone there for almost a year and have never been there on a peaches and cream biscuit day.Then there was the day Hubby made cashew chicken with vegetable stir fry just to give me a break. So yummy that Son1 ate his veggies pretty easily. The boys usually don't see their dad until the early evenings since he leaves at 5:30am. When he is home, they want to be right with him.

Happy Face

I watched Son1 play outside on our covered lanai. He seemed very intent on whatever he was working on at the table. He had his back to me, but I could see him through the family room windows. After a litle while I went out to join him. He turned and stunned me. "Look, mommy. I painted my shirt!" I aked him why he painted his shirt. "I made a happy face so I could show my teacher. See mommy?" Yeah, I saw that shirt all the way to the washing machine!

I am the Good Mommy That Knows How To Make the Memories

This is just to prove to you that I am the stellar mother.

I walked into the bathroom a few nights ago and found Son1 back floating in the tub. He caught me off guard and I burst out laughing. I used to do the very same thing at his age. I rushed to get my camera, because, after all, I am the family historian, memory maker, whatever you want to call me.I called the end of bath time, and he stood up. I rinsed him off with the detachable shower head, and he jumped out and onto the fuzzy yellow rug. I grabbed a towel off the rack behind Son1, and leaned to sit backward onto the closed lid of the commode when I heard a SNAP! But before my mind could figure out what snapped, my toes were pointed above my tummy, and my okole (Hawaiian word for my rear, but everyone says okole here, pronounced Oh-Ko-Leh) was sunk, nearly into the bowl of the toilet. I jumped up, and the plastic pieces retracted into place from their open scissor like position. And since my camera was sitting on the counter top, I couldn't resist taking a picture of the culprit.
My memory flashed back again to the first day of First Grade. Tony A. sat down after the Pledge of Allegiance and cracked the wooden seat in half. Everyone laughed and he was completely humiliated. Like a mind reader, Son1 looked at me in an accusatory way and said, "Mommy broke the toilet!!! Ohh...Daddy's gonna fix it." Who taught him that? Oh yeah, Mommy did. Anytime anything breaks in this house, and their needs an immediate fix, that's Daddy's job. Only. SIGH. Daddy came up the stairs, and Son1 repeated himself. Hubby just looked at me, and told us he could fix it. Now how was he going to do that? He just looked at me knowingly, and told me he was going to buy a new one. Ok, so my brain was misfiring just a little.

I put Son1 to bed, hoping that he would forget the day his mother sat on the toilet seat and broke the lid. No such luck. For the last few days, at the most random times, he sings out, "Mommy broke the toilet!" I figured I better tell you before you hear it from him.

Best Brothers

The boys love to get all riled up together. When Son1 hears his brother wake, he wants to see him instantly! Son2 can't detests when we go somewhere in the car without his brother, because they make silly faces and sounds at one another when they are together. Watching the two play together warms my heart and tickles my soul! This is Son2's favorite brother game:

Ono in Hawaii

Ono is our way of saying something is delicious here. If it is onolicious, it means it is super delicious, in a local kind of way. Here is a little bit of this week's ono at our house.

My neighbor is on the state's professional competitive skin diving team. He shares fish with us every now and then. This time he brought us what is known in Hawaii as Ulua. Since the fish was under twelve pounds it is called Papio even though it is the same fish. If it is over that then it is called Ulua. The Ulua fish is the most sought after shore catch.The fish has white fillets. Hubby breaded it here for us and it was definitely onolicious!
Hubby brought home a special treat for Son1. An island favorite with the kids is Choco Boy. It is actually a Korean snack in the shape of a mushroom, like Choco Boy. The stem is made of a shortbread cookie and the mushroom cap is made of chocolate.

So Serious It's Laughable

It was hard to keep a straight face around here today. This afternoon I heard the wind chimes jangling rather vigorously outside. There was a nice breeze, but definitely not anything particularly lively. This meant one thing. Son1 was up on a chair again, dangerously wobbling, clanging those wind chimes. I wasn't up for a trip to the hospital for stitches. I raced down the stairs and found Son1 jangling the wind chimes from atop a chair. He has been told not to do this before. He heard me open the screen door, snapped his hands down to his sides, flashed the widest grin and said, "Oh , HI!!!" I asked him what he was doing. "I'm ringing the bell!" I explained that he wasn't ringing a bell. "Yes I am ringing a bell. See?" And he turned to jangle the wind chimes again. My camera happened to be within reach.I told him he could fall and had to get down from the chair. Then I explained that this was not a bell, and that you don't jangle wind chimes, let alone wobbling from a chair. I had never explained exactly that these were wind chimes before. "Wind chimes," he whispered carefully, like he was concentrating, and then again as a matter of fact, "wind chimes." I explained about the wind, and how it makes the wind chimes jangle. I pointed out that we had a nice breeze, but that the wind was not blowing so hard to make the chimes ring very loudly, only softly. He looked at me intently, and said, "No, it's [the wind] broken." I busted up laughing, and he looked at me sheepishly. What was so funny?

Later in the evening, Hubby and Son1 played a little Wii together until bed time. After Son1 was tucked into bed, Hubby and I had ourselves a little Wii date. We love playing Brain Academy speed matches against one another. All of a sudden we heard the pitter pattering of three year old feet from upstairs, definitely out of bed. We just didn't stop playing. We were in a little competitive groove. Some minutes later, I sent Hubby up to regulate. Just as he turned to make his way up the stairs, we were surprised to find Son1 standing at the bottom of the stairs! We just looked at him before either one of us spoke. "HI!!!! I got dressed!" Sure enough, he had taken his PJs off, pulled on a new shirt, shorts, and even had new underwear on. No, he hadn't had a potty accident. He was ready to go somewhere. I asked him where he was going. He looked at me like it was obvious. "I'm coming downstairs. I want to play." Hubby recalled that he had turned off the only overhead light in his room, attached to the ceiling fan cord. So, Son1 had gotten dressed in the dark, with all of his clothing going in the right direction. We were so impressed that we weren't even upset. He wasn't kidding. In his mind, he got his clothes on just so he could join us to play Wii. We complimented him on his blind dressing skills, and Hubby marched him right back up the stairs for bed time.

Well, so much for discipline today. Son1 was so serious and earnest all at the same time, that we didn't really have too much to say besides, "Get down from that chair," and then a little later, "it's time for you to get back in your bed."

Dragon Fly Day

We stood out on the front lanai watching two dragonflies in the rain. Son1 had an old disposable camera and knew this was a shutter bug moment. He shrieked and shouted and made sure I was standing right there to share in his bug moment. "You see it mommy? Pick me up! Pick me up!" And the little wonder he felt about that bug was sort of like the wonder I felt at being his mommy just at that very moment, watching him watch that pink and black striped winged creature.

Drinking from the pink blossom

Two Crayons For the Price of One

Son1 is working on proper pencil grip in preschool. His teachers told him to first pinch his nose, and then pinch the writing implement, just like his nose. He has no problem pinching his nose. Transferring that little pinch to a crayon is a totally different story. The teacher gave me another great tip. She told me that when students use a crayon snapped in half they most likely will hold the crayon correctly. Huh...I suddenly felt a small sense of control come over me.

That night we sat down to do some of Son1's schoolwork. Then I remembered the crayon tip. I snapped the crayon in half. Son1 glared at me. "You broke my crayon, you broke my crayon!" I handed over a box and offered to let him help me snap the crayons in two.
After awhile Son1 really warmed up to crayon festivities, and snapped all of the crayons until he finished. And like magic, his finger grip on the crayon has gotten so much better!

Hugging Hubby

A few nights ago I was putting away dishes in the kitchen, when Hubby came up behind me, and hugged me. I turned to him, and hugged him back, I mean, really, really bear hugged him back, the way we only hug each other and our children. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you, too," I shared, "but that's not why I was hugging you like that." He stood about a foot in front of me and just looked at me, somewhat puzzled. I excitedly went on to explain something I had read in A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis. The book is taken from his personal journal after his wife's death. "Oh no, this is going to make me sad, isn't it?" I assured him it would not.

C.S. Lewis writes, "The earthly beloved, even in this life incessantly triumphs over your mere idea of her. And you want her to; you want her with all her resistances, all her faults, all her unexpectedness...And this, not an image or a memory, is what we are to love still, after she is dead."

These words gave me great pause. Hmm. When I read this my mind went other places than identifying with C.S. Lewis's grief. I pondered thoughts of human intimacy and our earthly relationships. When Hubby is traveling, sometimes I close my eyes and squeeze them shut and imagine his arms around me, holding me tight. There is nothing like having him absolutely present in front of me. I can think about it all I want, imagine it, wish for it, but there is nothing like his human physical presence or hug. I cannot substitute it with a thought or a memory. But when it actually happens, my body remembers the all too familiar feeling of being embraced by my husband. And the same thing happens with my boys. Over the last few months I have willed myself to remember what it felt like to hold Son1 as a baby. I know it happened, I know I enjoyed it, I know I have pictures. But there is no substitute for being physically present in that exact moment. I have willed myself to remember how it happened that he took his first steps, the excitement when he started to use a string of words to speak, and when he ran for his shoes to go and see the Christmas lights in the neighborhood every night two Christmases ago. I imagine these things. I play the video in my head. It is not that I have forgotten. There is no substitute for being intimately involved with that other person, right there, in the very moment. Now when Son2 is imitating me, and goes into fits of giggles when he gets me to copy him, the memory of Son1 doing the very same thing comes alive to me in a very real way, a way that isn't accessible without physical human intimacy. It cannot be replicated in a picture or in a memory of the past. This week I am purposely drinking in the moments with my kids and my husband. I have no idea if I will tire of this purposefulness. I hope not. I am adoring the physical seconds, the minutes, and the days of the joys and challenges of being home with my kids, and investing in my marriage.

happily ever AFTER!

Hubby made me a little promise almost ten years ago, when I was a new bride, that he would call me every day no matter his location. For the most part, he has been true to his word. I have settled for email sometimes, though. I look forward to his calls when he is away, just lovestruck. This week was no different.

This trip he was five hours time difference from us. He called us everyday, and we did some webcam, too. Wednesday night he told me he would call Thursday after Son1 got home from preschool. Thursday the hours ticked by. Ugh. I was seething. No call. Soon it was 6pm in Hawaii, 11pm there. No call. Where was he? Then I started to worry. At about 6:30pm, Hawaii time, my cell phone rang. That would have been 11:30pm his time. I heard it, but I was putting Son2 to bed. I figured he would call back in a few minutes. I checked the voice mail. WHAT??!?!? He was tired, and if I didn't call in the next few minutes, he was going to bed.

Now I brush off the fact the Hubby travels when folks ask me. I usually have, even in the early years when he traveled 50% of the year, and then 75% of each month after Son1 was born when we lived in VA. The travel in Hawaii has been light. So I really have nothing to complain about here. My in laws think I handle myself well about the years of traveling. I do most of the time. But after that voicemail, Hubby might break his almost ten year promise. I was mad, and felt the need to share.

I punched the numbers to his cell. My voice was super edgy. And then he called me on my edginess. Oooh I didn't like that. I will skip the drama, because I was a lot of drama. And there was nothing graceful about the conversation after he explained he had been out to dinner and watched a movie and was tired. Even more frustrating, he didn't offer much of an explanation. Finally we made peace before we hung up. He was going to call me Friday, after Son1 got home from school. Only two more nights until he was home.

Friday was busy. Son2 had a doctor's appointment in town, and it was lengthy. I cut it very close to make it back to meet Son1 after preschool. I pulled wide into our driveway. Son2 was asleep. I popped open the garage and ran straight into the bathroom. Just as I was finishing, I heard noise over head. Someone was in my house!! I panicked. Where was my cell? Should I call 911? I hadn't seen any other cars near my house. If it was a thief he didn't have a get away car. Cautiously, I looked into the dining room. Hubby's laptop backpack was sitting on the table. Oh!! Someone was ransacking our house. Maybe he had left his laptop, and they were going to take it! I looked up. The laptop was sitting on the desk, with my picture set as the background. My gut said something my mind couldn't understand. "HUBBY???!????" He called back to me before he descended the stairs. Nooo way.....what was he doing here???!?!?

"Did you see the roses I brought you? I got lunch, too!" He explained that the night before when he called me, his call was late because he was in the air. He had seen a movie, on the plane, not in a theater. He called me from LA, where he had spent the night before boarding another plane to Hawaii on Friday morning. His car was parked around the corner from our house, so I wouldn't catch on when I pulled up. He stopped at our favorite Thai restaurant, too, and picked up my favorite coconut milk curry dish. Now folks, that was some serious romance. Hubby has taken earlier flights to come home early, but never, ever has he been able to completely surprise me!!! Now you know I was feeling guilty for my little dramatic episode the night before.

We were all totally thrilled to see him and have some delicious food. The boys both went nuts over having their daddy home.

Just the Two of Us

Son2 and I spent alone time together this week, and it was precious. Son1 is back in preschool, happy to be with his friends, and we are settling into our routine again. We take Son1 to preschool, and then spend the day together. It was a sweet week. I watched him graduate from Army crawling to crawling up on all fours. I watched Son2 stand for the first time on Tuesday, and tears came to my eyes. I love this job! This week at Costco, the cashier smiled at Son2, looked at me, and said, "He looks a little like a Mexican baby, doesn't he?" I looked back at her with a smile and said, "Well, I am full Mexican." That's my other ethnicity, when people don't assume I am local in Hawaii! Aaahh, we are a rare breed here in Hawaii!