San Luis Obispo to Oxnard

We said our goodbyes in San Luis, and for three hours, our family of four was alone, once again on the road. We jumped on the 101 South, toward Ventura County. We drove through Central California, the heart of West Coast agriculture. Along the 101 South, between San Luis Obispo County and Santa Barbara are miles and miles of grape vineyards.
The highway winds between rolling hills of various crops, and then in an instant hooks at the edge of the California coast. It switches back and forth between country and coast like this for miles and miles.

Just outside of Santa Barbara we passed Santa Claus Lane, in the beach town of Carpinteria. There used to be a humongous Santa Claus there with an entire village with shops and restaurants. Most everything was removed and renovated in the last few years. A giant Santa once waved from the 101 exit. Some people in Oxnard rescued the Santa from demolition, and moved him there. He once sat on the 101 South for over 50 years.

South of Santa Barbara, and north of Los Angeles, we came into Ventura County, where Hubby and I lived our first two years of marriage. Our first home was off Seaward Avenue. But rather than turn left at this intersection, we turned right. If you are from California, you know why we took a detour.

In N Out Burger was the very first drive through hamburger stand in California back in 1948. The company is privately and family owned, and will never ever franchise. There are well over 150 In N Out locations. The menu has been nearly the same for 60 years. All of the shakes are made with real ice cream, the burgers never hit the grill until they are ordered, and the buns are made from old fashioned slow rising sponge dough. The french fries are fried in cholesterol free vegetable oil, and are hand cut in front of the customers. Anybody that leaves California and comes back knows to stop here. There is a not so secret menu passed by word of mouth by Californians, to order custom burgers. The associates are trained on the secret menu, but it is not published at the restaurant. In N Out has expanded a bit into Nevada and Arizona, too.
I had been trying to take a picture of the California mission bells that lined the coast from the car, but I just wasn't fast enough. Sitting in the In N Out drive through, I spotted one along the 101.
There are 150 bells along the 600 mile historic El Camino Real. In Spanish it means The Royal Road, and is also known as The King's Highway. This 600 mile stretch is the California Mission Trail, connecting the 21 missions commissioned by the King Carlos III of Spain. Before they were vandalized, there were once 450 bells. Since road signs were sparse in the early part of the last century, these bells were placed as landmarks all along the coast of California, to mark the mission trail. They are shaped like a shepherd's crook, or Franciscan walking stick.

Our food was ready. Hubby paid for our food, and we headed down Seaward Avenue, toward our very first three story townhouse, two blocks from the beach, on Oxnard Shores. Farther down the road we turned into Channel Islands Harbor to our hotel. We lugged all of our stuff from the car, into our room, and unpacked our In N Out dinner.
The boys shared this cheeseburger. These are the famous sponge dough buns. We ordered the burger from the secret word of mouth menu, "Animal Style." That means it is a mustard cooked beef patty, extra pickle, extra spread, and grilled onions.

We really should have deviated from the diet for this, but we didn't. Also on the secret menu is a "Protein Style." This means the burger is without bread, wrapped in hand leafed lettuce. Hubby ordered his burger, Protein Style, Animal Style, with "Double Meat." Yeah, that means just what it says, two patties When you order anything off the secret menu, they don't charge extra, even for double meat!!

Our kids shared the french fries, and it killed us to pass on these fries.

This was Son2's first In N Out experience, and he just scarfed all of his food! The boys shared the chocolate shake made with real chocolate ice cream while we just stared and salivated.

After sleeping on air mattresses the last several nights, we finally recharged with a great night's sleep. The suite had two bathrooms, so Son2 slept in a crib in one, while Son1 slept in the living room. It was so quiet, and we slept in with just a few minutes to spare for breakfast.

We checked out, and drove out to the last place we lived in California before we moved to Virginia, in Port Hueneme. We found our old house in the same condition we found it the first time. The vacant house was being painted, ready for the next tenant. Our teeny little beach house had three bedrooms, 1.5 baths, a living and dining room, a laundry room, and kitchen, and was all of 1,100 square feet. Again, this house was just a stone's throw from the beach, at the end of our road. At the traffic light we pulled into Port Hueneme, and Hubby showed Son1 his old work place.

Our last stop in Ventura County was in quaint Filmore. It is a small valley town just below the Los Padres National Forrest, and within the historic tree farming belt. There are many road side fruit stands as you come into the town. Hubby's cousins live here. They were such good friends during the first couple of years of marriage. His cousin R. is deploying to Iraq for 6 months at the end of June. They missed the family reunion, but we wanted to see them before he left. Their children were in my wedding.

I love their courtyard! They built this three years ago but we hadn't ever seen it, complete with morning glories, jasmine bushes, and creeping moss in between the stones. They were wonderful hosts and remembered our dinner favorites from years ago. Desserts were a whole course in themselves, too! We indulged and figured the diet could wait. Ha!

But best of all they blessed us with a humongous pirate ship to take to my parents in San Diego. It was once their son's from long ago. They kept it for children that came to visit well after their son had outgrown it. But since Son1 is deep in a pirate phase now, and they saw how much joy the ship brought him, they generously sent us off to San Diego with pirate figures aboard the large ship.

On Our Last Day with Family in San Luis Obispo

On our last morning together with Hubby's immediate family, we savored breakfast at the same place as the last few mornings, The Cowgirl Cafe. The food portions were monstrous! Hubby and I were able to stay on our diet with the Kitchen Sink omelet. Think of every imaginable vegetable used in an omelet, plus every kind of appropriate omelet meat, plus a full plate of biscuits and gravy that we both passed on, plus hash browns and toast. I passed on the hash browns and asked for extra vegetables. But man oh man were those portions unreal! Every morning the entire family happily hit old town Paso Robles for breakfast!


We returned to the house in Paso Robles, one last time together. Our branch of the family looks forward to the family reunion all year long. We stay up late and wake up too early. It's like a high all weekend, and then the last morning always is a bit quieter. Maybe we are tired, maybe we are sad, and maybe it's a bit of both. It is the one time of year my mother in law comes in from Arizona, and is together with her son in Washington, and her son in Hawaii at the same time, in the same state. It is the one time of year my son knows what it means to be a nephew and play with cousins. And since the Farmer brothers have lost two siblings, we all recognize just how precious it is to be with family. Living apart from any immediate family hurts the most when you have to say goodbye.


Uncle T. bought each of my boys some small toys that we can take back to Hawaii with us. He bought Son1 a little airplane and a little helicopter. Those two little toys went with us to restaurants, to sleep, and to the family reunion events. He kept saying they were special because they were from his Uncle T. Somehow this little comment was enough to give us all the warm and fuzzies. Soon enough, Uncle T. and Aunt M. drove three hours before boarding a plane and flying back to Washington. Son1 ran out for one last goodbye, with his special toys.

My mother in law had ideas for the rest of our day. She wanted to spend some special time with her only two grandchildren. Aunt N. invited us all to her timeshare pool at Avila Beach. The day was so beautiful since the heat finally broke! We filled up in San Luis, where gas was over $4.50 a gallon. Our total was over $62 for 13 gallons of gas. Ouch!

Son1 claimed his little brother's float when he skipped on the opportunity to use it. Son1 pretended he was sailing a boat, while his baby brother floated a toy boat. Soon enough Son1 tired of the floatie, and jumped into the deep end of the pool from the deck, over and over. Meantime Son2 objected loudly at being held in a pool. GG (great-grandma) hoisted him up on the deck, and in a split second, he copied his brother, and tried to jump in the pool! No one could believe our little 14 month old quickly picked up his brother's pool antics! No, we were not concerned he would drown. Hubby and I learned to swim as infants ourselves. Plus, there were too many adults crowded right in front of him. Truth be told he hardly hit the water, because too many of us caught him at once..

A few other relatives met us at the pool. Just because we couldn't get enough of ourselves, we headed out to dinner one last time together. While we waited, Son2 chomped down on an appetizer. Everyone got a big kick out of one of the youngest members of our extended family.

Hoedown in Templeton

The last official family reunion event was the Hoedown in Templeton. Aunt N. lives in Templeton, off of Vineyard, on the way to the wine country. Folks in San Luis Obispo County pride themselves on country living, so a hoedown was completely appropriate. Aunt N. made her homemade chili, sweet cornbread, and apple crisp. It was, of course, all organic, because organic is her middle name. And it was delicious.

Line dancing teachers were hired for two hours. Family across generations danced and danced. Others gabbed and just watched. Son2 fell asleep so early, he missed the whole thing!

Son1 and these cousins were all born the same year, and are all the first grandchildren of my mother in law, Aunt N., and Aunt I.

Aunt N. built a play structure in her backyard for her grandson. Son1 loved the swings!! We don't have public parks on Oahu with swings.

Uncle T. took Son1 on a little walk to the neighbor's yard. They peeked at the neighbor's horses through a fence. Son1 was fascinated that so many horses were found in people's backyards. This was a special treat to see them so close. Horses in backyards in Hawaii hardly exist!

Uncle T. and Aunt M. trying to keep cool in the early evening.

Aunt N. rested her foot a bit, after all of the cooking and dancing. She broke a bone, and had her cast removed a few days before the reunion. Her well deserved rest allowed for some time with Hubby. She tells everyone Hubby is like her brother, since they grew up in the same home for awhile, and she is only 11 years older.

The kids didn't tire from dancing. Son1 danced in between his relatives, encouraging them to imitate his signature moves. Hubby jumped in on the action. It was too funny!! They danced and kicked up their heels right until it was time for us to call it a night, a very, very late night.

Family Reunion Weekend

We canceled the vacation home we rented when Aunt N. generously offered to let the Farmer Family stay at the spec home her husband built. He is a home builder, and just finished this 5200 square foot home in Paso Robles. The property was large enough to ride motorcycles. A cousin just purchased this motorcycle, and Hubby took it for a little spin.

The home was spacious and unfurnished, so we resorted to indoor camping on air mattresses. Our family arrived from Hawaii, Uncle T. and Aunt M. arrived from Washington, and Grandma T. drove in from Arizona.

The kids were incredibly comfortable, stretching sheets into forts, and playing motor boat with a swim floatie. They started up an indoor dodge ball game, hide and seek, and endlessly played with their trains. The neighbors own horses, and the kids would sit on the deck and hope to catch a glimpse of Honey, the horse. Cousin V. lives less than five minutes from this house, so he and his parents joined us in the evenings. Uncle T., Aunt M., and Grandma T. acted just like big kids, in the fort, playing games, and supervising gymnastics moves. The kids were content to forget about all of the big people, too, and the house was large enough that they could roam freely. It was SO HOT the first few days were there. It was uncharacteristically 112 degrees. The air conditioning breaker broke and was replaced, and we set off eight ant bombs to cure that problem! We arrived late at the traditional Saturday family reunion picnic after a morning of fixing things. We were just in time for the family news announcements, the traditional photo, and family business. It was just too hot to be outside, so the picnic was over rather quickly. Most of the family headed for the beach, but the Farmers, my sister and son, and some of the Chathams came back to the house in Paso Robles. The guys broke out into a poker game, and the girls put the overtired little boys to bed, and jabbered, and jabbered, and jabbered.

Hubby, his grandma, and brother at the family reunion picnic

Sunday we toured Old Town San Luis Obispo. Son1 found these benches in an atrium. "X marks the spot! X marks the spot!" he called. He is really into pirates, and pirate ships.

At the heart of Old Town San Luis Obispo is Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa. The mission was founded in 1772 by Father Junipero Serra. Since Aunt M. did not grow up in California, I shared a little bit of mission history with her. The King Carols III of Spain wanted to gain a foothold in the New World in an area called Alta California. The political reasons were to beat the Russians before they moved south. The religious reasons for establishing the missions were to colonize and Christianize the indigenous people of California. When this mission was established in San Luis, the Chumash tribe resided here. New converts were brought to the mission to live, work, and learn about Christianity. This mission is the fifth of 21 established missions along the California coast. All of the missions were designed to be one day's walk from one to the next, along the ocean, on a trail called El Camino Real. These historic churches still operate traditional Catholic masses today, and are church parishes, in addition to historic landmarks. Mission San Luis Obispo is unique in that it is the only California mission that was both a belfry and vestibule. It is an L shaped church.

Father Junipero Serra, outside of the belfryThe beams are exposed and made of wood

Detail of the mission walls

All of the California missions raised agriculture, and all raised vineyards. These grapevines covered an arbor in the mission plaza, or center court.

Uncle T., the boys, and Hubby are sitting under the three mission bells called Sorrow, Gloria, and Joy. Bells were important to all of the California missions because they signaled different daily mission events depending on the way they were rung. The ringing of the bells is a special event even today.

The missions have been restored. These are smaller versions of several bells that still mark the El Camino Real to this day. They decorated the garden at the San Luis mission.

In the mission plaza, Aunt M. helped the boys make wishes in the wishing well.
Today the mission serves as a community backdrop for gardens, fountains, and shops. The California flag flies high in the center court. The California flag displays the California Grizzly Bear that is now extinct.

The kids were most fascinated by the fountain with the Chumash girl and Grizzly Bear. They pet him and hugged him, and splashed in the water. It was still so hot!The heat and sun were beating down on us, and Uncle T. suggested ice cream. Son1 snatched a piggy back ride down the historic streets.

Son1 and Aunt M.

I stressed the whole way to the ice cream shop. It was hot. I was going to melt, and I really wanted an ice cream. I really didn't want to blow my diet, though. I was so worried Hubby and I were going to cave, until my eyes feasted on this:

After a long wait because the young lady running the cash register couldn't re-roll the register tape, we were all served our treats. She never did figure it out, and wrote down our total on the back of an envelope, along with about ten other customers. My sister volunteered me to help her, but I had not rolled register tape in several years, since working at Sea World in San Diego.

The whole gang sat outside in the courtyard, with a view to the San Luis Creek and the mission gardens. The kids had their roam of the courtyard, and their fill of sweet treats.

All too soon it was time to bid my sister and her son goodbye. They were returning to Los Angeles since she worked Monday. It was such a rarity and such a blessing that the boys were able to play together. I know Son1 understands the importance of family, and goodbye was bittersweet.

Avila Beach Bonfire

The morning after our eventful plane ride we headed North on the 405 freeway. I squinted my eyes, flipped open my cell, and dialed my sis. She already knew why I was calling. I didn't even have to say it. "I know, I know. You had to show up on the smoggiest, hottest, day of the year. Honestly, it's never like this." Right. It was so bad! The 40 mile drive to her house took us an hour and a half in traffic. Once we hit the UCLA area, and I could see the sign for Sunset Blvd, memories started to flood back. I hadn't driven this direction in nearly eight years, when I left California for Virginia. Even then, I hadn't lived in this area in ten years. "Look, look! This is where Mommy first met Daddy!" But Son1 was truly unphased by my excitement. How I loved date nights in Santa Monica and Westwood when we first met twelve years ago! The 405 wound past Mulholland Drive, where we attended church in Bel Air, and into the San Fernando Valley, where I had my first teaching job. "What was that radio station we used to love when we lived here?" Hubby asked. We tuned in, and traveled north. As we left the metropolitan area, out to my sister's house, I laughed. I used to drive this longer route to my house in Ventura County because I loved these mountains. They're hard to see, but they are really brown. I was so surprised!

Eventually the 405 became the 5 North. We pulled off at the foot of the San Gabriel Mountains, to my sister’s exit. We sat in her driveway as the garage door rolled open and my sister and nephew greeted us. It’s amazing how much they have changed in a year’s time! She, twenty pounds lighter and more confident, and he, taller and thinner, looking more and more like my own children. We scrambled around the house to load the car, grabbed a bite to eat, and let the kids explore. Within minutes we were back in the car, heading north on the 5 freeway. My sister and her son were joining us for the 40th Annual Bellenbaum Reunion, for Hubby's family. This year it was held in San Luis Obispo County. Up the California Grapevine, and then down, we switched onto the 166 West, destination, San Luis Obispo County. Round and round we twisted and turned on the 166. We turned and turned, and stopped and stopped. Sometimes the kids were truthful and had to go potty, and sometimes they were not, and we stopped anyway. Son2 was overtired and overly loud. Would the ride ever end?!? It did! The 166 West ended at the 101 North in San Luis Obispo County. Not too much longer we turned off onto the Avila Beach Road exit, and arrived at the welcome bonfire.

Avila Beach is short and sheltered in San Luis Bay. It faces south and is protected by Point San Luis. This is why it was so warm.

"I see Grandma, I see Grandma!" called Son1. I turned my head, and there she was, walking down the boat ramp, toward the bonfire pits. Hubby rolled down his window, and called out to his mother. The doors of our rented van flew open, and the kids clamored out, down the boat ramp. We said our hellos, gave hugs, and joined the party.

Son1 and my sister's little boy

A bonfire was already burning. We helped the kids spear hot dogs and cook them over the fire.

Son2 ate hot dogs, and then some!

Before we had even piled out of the car, Hubby and I had a little talk with Son1. Hubby wasn't going to get in the water, I wasn't going to get in the water, and neither was he!! We told him the water was so much colder than in Hawaii, and he would be miserable. We thought we had him going...but cousins will be cousins....

As the sun began to set over Avila Beach, Son1, his grandmother, and a string of cousins confidently approached the water. The tide reached the shore more intensely, though. A little wade turned out to be far more fun and far more wet.

Soon enough the cousins came out of the water for marshmallow roasting. The Bellenbaums are great about helping out all of the little kids. A big cousin helped Son1 spear his marshmallow, and toast it to perfection.

Together they assembled a s'more. It was his first, and he didn't love it. "Toss it into the fire!" a few people called. But someone begged to rescue it.

Sis scores his s'more

Evening fell, and the kids were far from tired. Grandma T. happily strolled her baby grandson along the seashore. I caught up with them, and a few others at just the right time. We spotted a seal right in front of us, just less than twenty yards from us, riding wave after wave. We called to the others at the bonfire, and several folks rushed to share our excitement.

The evening grew into nightfall. Son1 and his cousin (7 days younger) tried to copy a fort the older boys were building. They worked intently to make their house.

Then they wised up. They invaded the big boy fort and attempted homesteading!

The evening was warm, and full of reunion with those we hadn't seen in a year. The kids were not ready to leave, not one little bit. They were thrilled to play together again this year. I promised Son1 so much more fun over the weekend as we stomped off the sand. Well after 9pm Hubby and I collected our children and our things, and headed for some sleep.

No Exit Over the Pacific

I can't believe I forgot the Ben*dryl when I remembered everything else. And I do mean every-thing! My diaper back pack barely zipped close, I loaded Son1's back pack pretty heavily, and the stroller had stuff shoved here and there. But I would have traded most of it in for 1.5 teaspoons of Ben*dryl. The California coast is 2500 miles from Hawaii, with No Exit over the Pacific Ocean! Hubby shook his head. He thought I brought waaaay too much stuff, until less than sixty minutes passed. It is amazingly hard to make noise when someone is a willing eater. Son2 went through a couple packages of dried apples.

My kids love frosted shredded wheat, dry. Can you imagine what happened when Son2 sneezed? Shredded snot all over Hubby and me! It was ugly. "EEEEWW!" we both groaned loudly. No more shredded wheat! Hubby did not even hesitate and bought a $10 sandwich from the cart, and a $3 quarter pound cookie. At least they couldn't be shredded. The kids shared the sandwich, but the cookie went almost entirely to Son2. WOW.

Son2 loves people. He waved and pronounced HI! HI! Many people sitting near us were either honeymooners or retirees. They did not necessarily find this fascinating. Trying to confine our little extrovert, our mobile little extrovert as a lap child, was strenuous. The more we held him, the more he protested. Consequently, we walked the plane aisles relentlessly with him. One of us sat with the Son1 and his DVD player, and the other would walk. Except Son2 doesn't walk independently, so I held his teeny little fingers in my hands, above his head. Down the aisles we went. HI! HI! Sometimes he slipped his fingers from my grasp too quickly. He reached for sleeping feet hanging out of chairs, other people's drinks, and laptops. But he was content walking.

Son1 was pretty good with his DVD player. But every opportunity he had to potty on the plane was a treat. Just as soon as he was able, he popped up with, "I HAVE TO GO!" It was less than a handful of times, but each time we waited in line we were sweating bullets, praying for the line to move faster.

We finally touched down at 11pm in Los Angeles, and scrambled off the plane. Hubby snagged a southwestern chicken salad from a vendor for the two of us. We caught the shuttle bus to our hotel, and that's when their fits of giggles started.
We put the kids down in the bedroom at 1230am. They had no intention of sleeping. Giggle, giggle, giggle. They were wide awake. Hubby and I devoured our salad praying they would sleep. No such luck. Giggle, giggle, giggle. Finally, an hour later, quiet fell over the room, and the day was officially over.

I AM Summer Fun!

It's summer!! Long lazy days are here and preschool is out! I am ecstatic about our plans. But there is something bugging me. A few different moms from a few different circles have encouraged me to sign my preschooler up for a zillion programs with them. Oh come on, they say, it will be so fun. That way we can do this and that together. And they don't take NO for an answer. It is not my idea of summer to load my kids up with activities just to get rid of them. And that is the caveat they present; we need a break from our kids. Now don't get me wrong. My kids are going to summer reading programs through our library and other kids programs where they will play with other children. But I am not going to load my preschooler up with weeks of activities just to get rid of them. This is probably going to make some people cringe and, oh, probably even ruffle some feathers, but I am telling you about what is important to ME and my family. I don't like the idea of dropping my kid off left and right at different activities all over town by himself and running myself ragged to get places on time, all in the name of a break for me. He is three. Maybe when he is a little older, I will drop him off different places, but not now. That is not summer fun, and not relaxing. Because folks, I AM SUMMER FUN.

In the mornings, Son1 and I spend a little bit of academic time together, no more than thirty minutes. He writes his entire first and last name independently, but we have to work on legibility. He is a lefty, which is posing a few fine motor challenges. We are also learning to write short words like "Hi" to send postcards on our upcoming trip. Hubby's mom sends postcards to him frequently, so he is motivated to learn to write.

One of the best presents my mother has given my kids (ok, all of her presents are usually good) is Highlights High Five. If you have not heard of this magazine you MUST MUST MUST check it out. It is a brand new in 2008. There are so many age and developmentally appropriate activities. Of course, since I used to write curriculum for my last school district in the summers before I had children, I don't just stop with the parent guide. I tend to extend the activities. So, when we read about Spot, a dog that hides under the bed, we used play doh to make little Spot dog. This is also great for Son1's fine motor skills. We pick out the rhyming words in the poems, and use the tear out cards in the back for Math skills. We sequence the stories, and work on listening comprehension. The Hide and Seek pictures reinforce visual discrimination. I could go on and on, but I won't. The parent teacher guide has plenty of ideas, crafts, and recipes that compliment the monthly magazine. We were sent a calendar in January from Highlights that we use to work on calendar skills, too. It is so fun for him and I am enjoying our one on one time! Starting in July I have planned a number of field trips for us, too.

There are times, though, when learning just happens all on it's own, and he goes a little Montessori on me and does his own thing. (I am a proud product of the Montessori method, so I can say that confidently. It explains a lot about me, though, huh? Yeah, I will take that as a compliment!!) Some days he insists on doing a puzzle, and today he told me he was drawing the American flag. He showed me he had produced a pattern, and recounted it to me. If you can't see it, don't worry, I couldn't either. But what matters is he could see it and recite it correctly.But that time is such a small fraction of our day. Most of our time is spent just being silly and goofy. Some days are chase days, or peek a boo days, or monster truck days. Our days amount to just undefined schedules and summer fun.Last week we went to the Ko'Olina lagoons. I felt like a star. I can't remember another time since having the two kids where I was in the ocean, alone, with both of them. I have been alone in a pool with them, but not in the ocean. I had Son2 in a floatie, and Son1 hung out on his boogie board. After awhile Son2 protested. I remembered I had my Body Glove infant carrier stashed in my back pack, and strapped him to me. The water was so shallow I sat on my knees and back on my heels while Son1 floated past on his boogie board. After awhile I called time to go. Just as we were about to walk up to the outdoor showers, Son1 flopped in the sand and made a sand angel.
This struck my funny bone and I laughed out loud. He has read in books and seen children on TV make snow angels. Of course he doesn't remember he ever lived in a snowy place, though. But there he was in the sand, his arms and legs swinging in and out, in and out, until he was satisfied he was done creating a SAND angel.

Night time is eventful, too. We are blessed to live on a culdesac with 10 boys under 9 years old. They own the culdesac. There are only two girls on our street. The boys really love Son1 and share their toys with him, include him in Hide and Seek games, and bike riding. So our summer nights have been active, until way past regular bedtime.We are having so much fun it shows. One night Son1 didn't quite get to his dinner.

School is OUT!

School is OUT! Son1's class was mixed with 3 and 4 year olds. Recently, we had preschool graduation for the older children. It was precious, complete with songs, dances, and a slide show that made me bawl. It was once again complete with Hawaiian tradition.

The students wore caps and capes. The capes are in school colors, and are printed with plumeria flowers, our state flower.
It is customary to offer each graduate a lei as a sign of honor and love. The children's leis were made of candy, macaroni, fake flowers, foam shapes, and some even had little toys inside. Graduates are also honored with blow up swimming rings. We had many talks with Son1 that some of his friends were moving onto Kindergarten. He said he wanted to go , too if he could just wear a cap and a cape. :)After the graduation ceremony we returned to the classroom for a potluck celebration. Potlucks are common in Hawaii. I signed up to bring whatever was needed. Son1 requested his mommy bring macaroni and cheese. So the teacher sent me home a note and told me so. Well I couldn't just make the box version. Other families were going to bring some fab dishes and I had to bring macaroni and cheese, at my son's request. Noooo....I had to make the fancy shmancy homemade version. The kids went crazy over it at the potluck.

It is uncommon to arrive empty handed as an invited guest in Hawaii. There is always plenty of food, though. At the end of the event, like the preschool graduation, it is cultural to ask everyone to make themselves a "to go" plate for leftovers. You never leave a local party hungry!!

The teachers were also given multiple leis. On special occasions like today honorees don several leis at a time.

Surprise, surprise, even I was honored with a lei for being the contact parent, or Room Mom. These are individually wrapped Japanese treats.

Treat bags are passed out from each classmate, to each classmate, at the end of the year party. I couldn't find my fancy treat bags, so we settled for sandwich baggies. The monkey books went to the boys, and lady bug books went to the girls. I also added some candies and other treats.


Son1 can't wait for school to start again.! I wonder if it is partly for the goody bags.....

Happy Father's Day!

Wishing our Daddy much Aloha!

"The righteous man walks in his integrity;
His children are blessed after him."

Proverbs 20:7

What to Do About Father's Day??

Given the way Hubby's birthday went, I am not stressing over Father's Day. His birthday was a huge bust, but a good laugh weeks later.

It is impossible to surprise him. He knows what he likes. He's specific. He likes to pick out his gifts himself. And his sentimentality is limited. He doesn't treasure crafty or cluttery things. That must come from moving so many times. We go out to eat and he never hems and haws over a menu. He knows what he wants to eat by the time the waiter takes the drink order. He's not a big fan of surprises, anyway. On the other hand, he loves to surprise me. And I eat up the attention. Well, because I'm me. I always dream of surprising him, but he just says he's not into "that surprise stuff." Poo! So imagine my absolute delight when a postcard came from Top of Waikiki a few weeks before his birthday and he said, "Hmmm, Top of Waikiki, I've heard that's supposed to be a romantic restaurant. We'll have to get a sitter and try it some time. " A light bulb went off in my head. I finally could defy Farmer history and surprise him for his birthday.

First I called Top of Waikiki and made a reservation on Hubby's birthday weekend, not his actual birthDAY. Then I arranged a sitter a couple of weeks in advance. She and her whole family knew it was a surprise, and not to mention the date to Hubby. Next, I dragged Son2 dress shopping with me, and I tried on 24 dresses. (I took 8 garments into the fitting room 3 different times, that's how I know.) I picked a dress he would like (read: modest). Then my neighbor stopped by with a surprise that she had no idea would go perfectly with my dress. We walk together and we talk about our "problem areas." Except she has 5 kids and is a size 4. She came over all giggly with a wadded up bag. Out popped a pair of underwear with a six inch tummy sucker girdle band and choke hold material. She bought one for me and one for her. Oooh perfect. I told her they would look so smashing under my dress for Hubby's birthday. Well now there was someone else in on the surprise.

Hubby's actual birthDAY was spent at a chain restaurant, as a family of four. At first, the host thought to sit us in a booth in the bar area. He smiled and proudly held out his hands. I scowled. We were the only folks with children.
"No, we can't sit here."
"You can't sit here?!?"
"No, it's not worth the dirty looks from people without kids. We need to sit in the main area."

Reluctantly, he sat us in an already busy section with families. Woo hoo!!! Hubby plucked the children's menu from the table. "Son1 is having chocolate milk, because it's MY BIRTHDAY." Yeah, I never let him have chocolate milk because I'm too fearful of starting that habit. But when Daddy's alone, it's chocolate milk and chocolate shakes all around. I'm never happy about that.

Son1 clutches chocolate milk for dear life knowing Mommy is not a fan.

Dinner was loud, which we expected. Son2 (all of 14 months old) ate an entire children's menu plate, ate off our plates, plus the snacks I brought for the wait. Whew! Late in the meal Son1 stood up and announced to our table, and those around, "I GOTTA GO POOP!" Usually I jump up at those moments, but those two were sitting together, and closest to the potty. So off they went. And when they came back Hubby was shaking his head. Remember the host who wanted to seat us in the bar area? Apparently he was in the bathroom (Hubby checked out his shoes) doing his business while Son1 was finishing his. There were enough audible noises from the next stall that Son1 shouted at the top of his lungs, over and over, "HEY DADDY! HE'S GOING BIG POO POOS!!! HEY DADDY! HE'S GOING BIG POO POOS!!! OOHH IT'S STINKY!!!" So we paid our bill shortly after their return to the table, and high tailed it out of there.

Now I told you Hubby's selective. We drove to a bakery for him to pick out his own cake. It was a strawberry shortcake, and I picked out the Spiderman candle, because we are all about superheroes here.

The night wasn't quite the ideal birthday celebration. We went to bed late after watching a movie. I giggled to myself knowing I was going to Top of Waikiki the next night. Well, so I thought.

The next morning we were awakened by our bright eyed children at 530am. There was no way either one of them was going back to sleep. SIGH. Hubby left for his tennis match 45 minutes later. He was back, we were off to breakfast, a few yard sales, and then a birthday party. In every one of our conversations Hubby kept singing to us "It's My Birthday Weekend" as obnoxiously as I have for the last ten years of marriage. Annoying. Eww. I ignored him.

We all went to the birthday party. The party was tons of fun, but it was so hot and not air conditioned. It was held inside a huge warehouse with several bouncy houses. Everyone was sweating. It was so sticky. Hot and Sticky. By the time we got out of there, we were totally wiped from being so hot and sticky.

Down the 30 foot slide together

Future gladiator

Hubby offered to pick up Thai food on the way home. "NO!!!!! I mean...nooo. I'm just not in the mood for Thai food..." And then he started singing his birthday weekend song. SIGH. NO.

He had to go to Costco to pick up my Mother's Day Gift, he said, so maybe he and Son1 should just pick up dinner for us....didn't I feel like something from the food court? "NO!!!!! I mean...nooo...." You know what came next, that birthday weekend song! Eww. So I laid it on thick. I was tired. We went to bed late and got up early today. I was hot, sticky, and wanted a shower. How about if we just went to bed early? The next day was Mother's Day, and it wasn't going to be much of a Mother's Day for our family with church, brunch, and Bible study. Why couldn't we just have a nice romantic dinner at home, with sleeping children, and go to bed early??!?!? And besides, his birthday had passed. When was Mother's Day going to start???

He caved. Ok. All he asked was that I preheated the oven when he called from Costco, and he would make me a romantic dinner at home. Perfect. He left, and I scrambled to put Son2 to bed, and ready myself. He called twice to make sure I preheated the oven. Of course, I never turned it on. So he walked in, I flew down the stairs, but he reached the oven first. He shot me this look, and before he could say anything, I blurted out that I got a sitter and it is surprise for his birthday, and besides, he didn't really think that our family dinner was his birthday dinner, did he? SIGH. "Well, I wish you would have told me," he started to say slowly. "I bought all of this food for Romantic Dinner, and you had me going with being so tired, and I am so tired too...".
Well, she was coming at 7:30, I replied, but I didn't tell him where we were going.

About 6:30, I started to get nervous. Hubby was putting together an electric car set with Son1, and wasn't going to be done any time soon. I didn't have the constricting underwear on yet, or the dress. "You're going to need to hurry, because it's going to be a drive, and you need to get ready." There was a bit of pushiness in my voice. He looked at me blankly. "Aren't we just going to Assaggio's?" That's our favorite Southern Italian restaurant. See, I told you he always knows what he wants. Well, no. Didn't he say we should go to Top of Waikiki sometime? I had made an 8:30 reservation. As the words came out of my mouth, I could see absolute pain across his face. I knew what he was thinking. It's a drive there, a drive back, and dinner was going to be anything but short. "You had me convinced about being so tired, all I can think about is how tired we are," he said gently. I knew he wouldn't cancel dinner, and he would have been a good sport, and I really wanted to go. Now it was my turn to cave. I suggested we just go somewhere nearby. We could try Assaggio's, but I didn't think we could get in without a reservation. So that's just what we did. And the line was out the door at Assaggio's. We ended up at Ruby Tuesday's, in my regular underwear and capri pants. No dress. No Top of Waikiki. I don't really care for that restaurant, but Hubby does. It was uneventful. And the other gifts I got him? Thoughtful, but not what he really wanted. I ended up returning them.

This brings me to Father's Day. Part of me wants the whole fanfare, the whole tah-dah, the whole shock and awe over gifts. The whole thank-you-so-much-for-thinking-of-me!! But you know, that's just not him. He is totally unimpressed. You know what works well? I usually ask him what he wants, and then Son1 and I go shopping for his gifts together, and he acts so grateful and surprised for what he already knows he is getting. That's him. But maybe I can still sneak something sentimental in there....

Lifting My Eyes

You're right. Usually this blog is about our Life in Paradise. The last two weeks have hardly been paradise, though. Four hours after arriving form Maui in Honolulu, we drove round trip from the port, to my house, to the airport. Four hours later, Hubby was ready to board a plane, and I was driving home with the kids.

Hubby spent some time with my folks last week. San Diego was his last stop on his three city trip. They heaped praises on him for being the leader of our home, for his role in our sons' lives, and for being my loving partner. They have no idea how much that meant to Hubby. It never gets old after ten almost years of marriage. More than anything they are so thrilled that someone loves me like they do. I would say that is a stretch for most in-laws. Maybe one day two mother in laws will say that about my sons. I tell you this all of this for ONE reason. Please don't read this post and misunderstand that I resent my husband for traveling. NO. This post has really nothing to do with him being gone. It's just harder to put out fires alone. So about my last two weeks...

I begged for help from more friends in the last two weeks than ever. And I detest asking for help.

Help! Hubby is out of town, can you share church nursery duty with me?

Help! Son1 jammed his bathroom door closed with an open bathroom drawer. The only way in is through the second story window, unless you can pry the door open! (The door got pryed open.)

Help! I want to be culturally correct. What is the Hawaiian custom for preschool graduation? (That is a whole other post!)

Help! I'm locked out of my house! Can you climb through the open bathroom window on the first floor? I'm too short! (She did.)

Help! Son2 threw up all night! Can you take Son1 to school for me? (Same person that climbed through my bathroom window.)

Help! I lost my purse. I possibly left it at church, and I need to unlock the building and the gate to get in. Can you watch my kids for a few minutes? (Two friends and a held over babysitter helped, including the person that pryed open the bathroom door, and confirmed it took a genius to get the door jammed in such a way.)

Help! Can you watch my sick (but no longer vomiting) Son2 so I can attend a school function for Son1? (I asked more than one person.)

And I kept thinking to myself...it's just not as bad as when Son1 had Rotovirus and it came out both ends for seven days and Hubby was traveling. A fleeting thought...

This is how many animals got puked on by two children. They are drying after a washing machine cycle.

Then there were the mishaps.

My van door jammed shut one day. The power function went out. Crouched over, I carried Son2,from one side of the van to the other to get him in and out, for nearly two weeks. Between two ill children, I didn't make it to the dealership to get the door fixed.

Ghosts and monsters conveniently appeared in Son1's room at bedtime (taking me nearly 2 hours to get him down because he kept getting up) and again in the wee hours of the morning. They showed up every night, starting the night Hubby left. I was sleep deprived.

Son2 developed a sinus infection after his puking, requiring antibiotics and a wait at the pharmacy.

One of my kid's treated me to a traumatic trip to the ER. But I couldn't see asking for help, because hadn't I already over-asked everyone? I couldn't find my cell, so I used my house phone to dial my cell phone. Wait! I dialed another number than mine. I hung up on half a ring. Well, that was the phone call that saved my sanity. She called back. I explained what happened. She had been a fleeting thought through my mind as I was dialing my cell, and I dialed her instead. Well all the glory goes to God on my misdial because the short of the long story is her mother met me at the hospital and took the other child, his car seat, and his stuff to her house. The incident could have been it's own blog post, but just know that everyone is fine, and I am too exhausted to tell you.

I braved grocery shopping with the sick kids because we were out of milk. I came home in the dark and in the rain, with tired, sick, and crying children. I unloaded the groceries and the kids. I forgot the milk in the car overnight. I wanted to scream. It's over $5 a gallon at Costco and $8.29 if I have to get it at a regular grocery store. So I thought I would just buy another gallon the next day while we waited for my safety inspection that was due LAST MONTH. In Hawaii safety inspection stickers are displayed on rear bumpers, so I was a mobile billboard for non-compliance, and in danger of a ticket and a fine.

The safety inspector failed me for a chip in my windshield that I had filled in 2003 or 2004. The guy that checked me in at the car store called me ten minutes after I left. Didn't he say it was going to be 45 minutes? I would not have moved from the store for a ten minute wait. I had just crossed a busy street with fussy Son2 in his stroller, and a death grip on squirmy Son1. I stood at a grocery store rationalizing why it was OK to pay $8.29 for a gallon of milk at this point in life when my phone rang. Let's just say the inspector was the straw, you know the straw, the one that made me just snap.

Oh and one more very important piece of information. In the midst of all of the drama, mishaps, asking tons of people for help, ER visit, and illness I chose to go on the South Beach Diet. Let me tell you I wasn't exactly craving protein or veggies right then. Oooh I would have died for a milkshake. Or a bowl of ice cream. Or a pizza, and I don't even love pizza. But I could have loved it at that moment.

"Let me get this straight," I said over wails from a preschooler pleading for a beverage. "Unless I produce a receipt for the filled crack in my windshield, I have to refill a FILLED crack in order to pass inspection?!?"

"Well, that's why I asked you if you had any chips in your windows that would cause you to fail inspection."

"And I said NO because my car passed inspection on the island with a FILLED crack in 2005, 2006, and 2007. I had that crack filled in Virginia. This never happened on the island!"

I was at my limit. He wasn't going to let up and neither was I. Wouldn't I like to just come back to the store and speak to the inspector? Boy, would I, even if it meant leaving the store without milk. More wails from my preschooler as I held his wrist and marched back across the busy road, to the store, past the open car bays, where I swore the mechanics were chuckling at me. I waited patiently for the inspector, and gave Son1 a firm warning to behave himself. Mommy was going to talk to a man and I was not happy. He needed to be very good while I talked to this man.

I was whisked out to my car, parked on the hot black asphalt with two thirsty children. Now remember, I live in the tropics, when I say HOT BLACK ASPHALT I mean steaming HOT. So the belligerent inspector told me all my other inspections had been illegal. And I looked at him and said you are a G**dy**r store, and the last place I had it done was a Go*dy**r store, are you saying your own company does illegal inspections? If they passed this car, YES. AAAAGGGGGHHHH!!! I thought. I took one dramatic pause, stared at him, and slowly let my next words come out for their full impact. "Do you have kids?" He nodded. He had two little ones, like mine. "Well, I completely know you don't care how I am feeling right now, but let me explain something to you. My husband is off island, and I just dragged my two thirsty children here for an overdue inspection. Do you think I would have done that if I thought my vehicle was going to fail inspection? I DON'T HAVE THE RECEIPT. It is in a landfill in Virginia somewhere. Are you telling me that now I am going to have to MAKE THESE KIDS WAIT and PAY to refill a filled crack and PAY for my inspection?!?" He knew I was not going to retreat. I was not going to leave. This was unacceptable. I was hungry. I was sleep deprived. "Well, I can let you speak to the other inspector, and we can see what he says." Now did he think I thought the other inspector was going to disagree with him? He agreed he would not. At this point, I didn't care. Sure, I wanted to share my frustration, all over again.

What transpired is too long to post. This is getting too long. The end of the sweet story is that the other inspector was the store manager. But I was too carb crazy and delirious from fatigue to notice his name tag. He took pity on me. He gave me my inspection sticker. He all but hugged me, but I just let him shake my hand, which is less common on the island. Hugs are more cultural. Oooh I just was so grateful.

But I am human, and quickly I forgot the positives of the two weeks. And I was tired. I was feeling over-extended. And at the end of my two weeks alone, I remember wondering when things would get better. No one was there to help. I pulled out of my culdesac onto my cross street, and my thoughts were interrupted at the stop sign. I had looked right; no traffic. I looked left, and breathed out in wonder. A peace came over me, and I knew I was not alone. I knew where my help would come from.

This is the second time I felt God, maybe, just maybe, made ME this rainbow. Nothing is impossible with Him. I made another right turn, toward the main drag, and saw the rainbow extend. Back at the cross street it hid behind the clouds. Now it was in full view. I drove higher up the hill to take a picture.

On the way down the hill, I saw an absolutely magnificent sunset, with rays blasting through the clouds. I thought to go back a couple blocks to my house, where I could park, and perhaps find an unobstructed view for a photo. But what I found was better.

The house on the left is mine.

I learned a lot from that rainbow. At first it was a fragmented yet beautiful arc. From higher up on the hill, it was a brilliant arc. And when I drove back to my home, I saw the brilliant arc in a very personal way. The rainbow was beautiful all t